“don’t you think that the child caught a cold in the stomach?!” As for me, an older lady spoke so, it was my first child two years old, nibbled on a pear and was driving in the Buggy by the Berlin spring. Temperature: about 10 degrees Celsius.

I was not to come until then, the idea that a bulb could represent a special risk to a small child, but was accustomed to be quite hard to get more often good advice for the care and education of my offspring.

“The child is in the stroller”, I was informed in the best Berlin forcefulness of a man in the store, as I was carrying the Baby in a belly. Others admonished me to let the child just not in the parents ‘ bed to sleep. Others, again, called on to do just that. No matter where – even professionals in the education of children called gave me again and again, often conflicting tips.

The parent column for Advanced alternately Silke Fokken, Armin Himmelrath and Birte Müller about life with children between the first and the last day of school to write.

So what makes a parents at some point resistant to advice. Deaf to the Erziehungsohr. Perhaps such advice is to bounce, therefore, over the years, to me. Or I got you to actually hear it less often, because you asked me not – as in the first child is the early 20 – a lack of spiritual maturity, but because people doubted rather pedagogical competence.

No clever advice more?

Anyway, I had thought, now, some 20 years later, with the fourth child, everything would be different. No clever advice more and more. But of because of.

In the upbringing of three-year-old, I’m under constant observation of three super nannies: 11, 19 and 22 years old. It is my older children. Any one know it is always better.

“Can I watch TV?” the Little one asks after dinner. “No,” I answer, and to add immediately thereafter, a typical mother’s sentence: “You need to go to bed.” The three-year-old with a long face, then you are at the wrong Protest.

The eleven-year-old is throwing me disapproving glances. “Wrong Timing.” I look questioningly. “You are not allowed to watch TV, which makes for frustration. And then the second bad news is still the same: you want to bed. It feels full of stupid”, explained to me the child psychologist, referring to his own bad experiences.

she also has a tip on how I could make it better: “First, you tell her, ‘We can now read a book together’. If you do that then you cut the subject of Sleep.”

What can I say? She’s right.

“teach children the pleasure of eating”

My next pedagogical misstep: before the sweets Cabinet in the kitchen. The first child at the age of three years, was still willingly with sugar-free spelt-overs biscuits, could be the second child, there is no talk of it. And both are now agreed: “You don’t want, is to a unentspannte full grain mother!”

“You have to teach children the pleasure of eating”, especially the “big sister” and ensures that our wardrobe is regularly filled with candy.

well, we don’t have to have a dogmatic hand. “But not so many,” I say, therefore, just as the Small want a pair of jelly beans. The first Ration is plastered, as she asks quite fond of: “Can I please have another one?” Even with “please”. I melt. “Well,” I say. “One last thing.” But even that is quickly gone. “One more thing?” You look so cute. “One last.”

Hardly pronounced, sounds behind me: “it’s not very consistent.” A shake of the head from the super nanny (the fear may also be due to selfishness, the amount in the bag could be all-too-quickly shrink). She has a not entirely disinterested advice for me: “You have to share the child time to teach.”

Between the tulle skirt and glitter Barbie

With my educational expertise, it is probably not so far. I have, for example, of gender neutral education, no idea is clear to me, since I resisted them at the time, my now great daughter, about days in the pink Prince to the sense of dress in the nursery. I have to admit: that you put, but more often, has not had a detrimental impact on her female self-understanding. Apparently, it depends on other things.

If my super nanny, the three year old now with a glitter Barbie birthday happy or when you bought Clothes specifically to the pink tulle skirt instructions (for cheers), bar I, therefore, hardly any resistance. You have me depends in a feminist respect, anyway, for a long time.

As I admire in the nursery with the three year olds once again the gifts that “Santa Claus brought us,” as I claim, comes prompt criticism: “Have you seen him, mother?”, the eleven-year-old wants to know. “Uh, no.” “Well, so it may have been a Christmas woman. We don’t want to, that my sister thinks that women cannot do everything men do.”

of Course not.

To the Person Silke Fokken, Born in 1972, is a journalist and lives with her husband and four children (3,11,19 and 22 years old) in Hamburg. So, she gained relevant experience at various schools: from Training to Abifeier. Your life motto: listening and understanding – but before the first Cup of coffee.